Anna Hothai

memories of home

The smell of smoke in the air on a cold morning often reminds me of my hometown - Pai, the city of three fogs. Wherever I go and whenever it is, I always get reminded of the place I grew up in. I think of Thailand when I walk through a narrow dirt road alley, pass a large field on the side of a highway, hear the sound of a rushing river, and smell a burning incense. “It smells like Thailand” is a phrase I use a lot as I go about my day and living my life in Oregon. While my physical body is here, I can’t help but let my mind wander off and think about the past. These little moments come and go at random as if there is a ghost reminding me that I am Thai. The disconnected reality, memories, and cultural identity is a theme that has always stuck with me. Because Pai was a small rural town, I was unwillingly forced to move to Oregon for a better life. At the age of 12, I had to leave my close family, friends, and a sense of belonging behind. As I grow older, everybody from my childhood moved on with their lives, but my memories are frozen in time. As I work with the looping GIFs, I came to understand why it hurts me so much to see the scenery of my hometown change and to see my Thai family members look older than I remembered them to be.

To animate is to bring to life. In memories of home, I chose to explore how disconnected moments evoke memories of a place and a sense of belonging. My work is a grid of GIF animations that depict random things I remembered from Thailand. The work became a tool to help me reflect and accept what was and what made me who I am. By animating my memories, my work becomes a personal reminder that the things I experienced were once real, and they are kept alive inside of me.

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